By Stella Matilda
It is believed that kids who contribute in the household from a very young age turned out to be great employees or entrepreneur who will collaborate well with their co-workers and more empathetic because they know what struggling looks like and able to take on tasks independently.
Researchers found a significant correlation between their social skills as kindergarteners and their success as adults two decades later. The 20-year of research show that these children by the age of 25 would have held a full-time job with a college degree of some kind and that they are socially competent children who could cooperate with their peers, be helpful to others, understand their feelings and even resolve problems on their own whereas to compared than those with limited social skills.
Those with limited social skills also had a higher chance of getting arrested, binge drinking, and applying for public housing. “This study shows that helping children develop social and emotional skills is one of the most important things we can do to prepare them for a healthy future,” said Kristin Schubert, program director at the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, which funded the research.
According to Neal Halfon, a professor from University of California said, “Parents who saw college in their child’s future seemed to manage their child toward that goal irrespective of their income and other assets.” The research showed 57% of kids who did the worst were expected to attend college by their parents, while 96% of the kids who did the best were expected to go to college. This falls in line with another psych finding: the Pygmalion effect, which states “that what one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy.” In short, children to live up to their parent’s expectations.
Children who come from parents who are divorced or separated tend to fare worse than children of parents that are together or get along. Some studies have found children in non – conflictual single parent families fare better than children in conflictual two-parent families. Yet another study found that 20-somethings who experienced divorce of their parents as children still report pain and distress over their parent’s divorce ten years later. Young people who reported high conflict between their parents were far more likely to have feelings of loss and regret.
Mothers are stressed from juggling with work and trying to find time with kids, and this may affect their kids poorly when the mother is stress according to Kei Nomaguchi, a sociologist. Moreover, mothers’ “Helicopter Parenting” approach can backfire too. Research has proven that our emotions are in fact contagious. Don’t you realise that when you are happy, everyone else are happy too. So if a parent is exhausted or frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to your kids too.
So, drink up that wine you bought over the weekend! 😀
Parents must have a “growth mind set”, thrives on challenges and sees failure as a room for growth, for improvement and for developing new skills and abilities. Children should always be complimented and appreciated for their effort of trying and tell them that it’s ok to fail.
This teaches them the “growth mind set.”
Harvard Business School has revealed that mothers who work outside of home provide a significant benefits for their children growing up. The study found that daughters of working mothers went to school longer and very likely to have a steady job and earn more money whereas to compared 23% of the peers who were raised by stay-at-home mothers. Working mothers with sons will tend to be more involved with household chores and childcare, the study found they spent more than 7 hours a week on childcare and over 25 minutes helping with household chores.
“Role modelling is a way of signalling what’s appropriate in terms of how you behave, what you do, the activities you engage in, and what you believe,” the study’s lead author, Harvard Business School professor Kathleen L. McGinn, told Business Insider.
“There are very few things that we know of, that have such a clear effect on gender inequality as being raised by a working mother,” she told Working Knowledge.
Diana Baumride, psychologist published her research back in 1960s found there are three types of parenting styles:
Permissive: The parent tries to be non – punitive and accepting of the child
Authoritarian: The parent tries to shape and control the child based on a set standard of conduct
Authoritative: The parent tries to direct the child rationally
The ideal is the authoritative. The kid grows up with a respect for authority but doesn’t feel strangled by it.
Angela Duckworth, a psychologist from University of Pennsylvania uncovering the powerful, success-driving personality trait called grit. In 2013, her research defined it as a “tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals.”
In short, it’s about teaching children to imagine and commit to the future they want to create.
Here is a video of Angela Duckworth explaining the power of grit at TEDTalk event.
Copyright © 2019 ParentsAvenue.com. All Rights Reserved. Parents Avenue - Sabah's First Online Parenting Guide. Wholly owned by Bay Media.