Written by Eve Bandusena | Parents Avenue’s Editorial Assistant
As Gary Chapman was navigating through his sessions as a counselor, he realized that many relationships such as couples or even children and teens face key problems in which their partners and parents weren’t effectively communicating their love to each other. Simply, an individual didn’t feel loved by their loved ones as they’ve been misinterpreting the signs of endearment showed to them.
What exactly is love language?
As parents, we want to ensure that our children’s emotional needs are being met and according to Dr. Chapman who’s the author of “5 Love Languages” our children communicate their love in 5 different ways and it ranges from physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.
Within 5 of these languages, one of them is the language of your child. However, this doesn’t mean to focus only in one language, but to provide your child with large amounts of their primary love language with lesser extents of the other four.
How do I know my child’s love language?
So, how does a parent begin to assess their child’s love language? Simple! Besides taking a 5 Love Languages for children quiz for free on www.5lovelanguages.com, you can reflect on how your child will typically express love, for example… Do they enjoy receiving gifts? Do they say appreciative words? Do they give hugs? Next, try to be more aware of what your child says. Notice them.
Does your son ask for a back rub? This represents physical touch. Or does your daughter need your opinion on a school project? This stands for words of affirmation. Or, does your son complain about how you don’t take him to the beach anymore? This calls for more quality time.
Lastly, you can assess your child’s love language by giving your child a choice between choosing two kinds of love. For example, would your child find it preferable if you to plant flowers in the garden with her (Quality time) or for her to hang out with her friends at the mall? (Acts of service). For a quick recap of finding your child’s love language, this is what you should be paying attention to:
• How your child expresses love to you
• How your child expresses love to others
• Listen to what your child requests most often
• Notice what your child most frequently complains about
• Give your child a choice between two options, and see what they most frequently choose
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